Even when no one is listening…

0205131228Okay Rachel. Why in the world do you have a picture of a dustpan on your blog? Well, today as I was preparing tea settings for some company I am expecting my darling egg shaped salt and pepper shaker went falling to the floor shattering into a mess of salt and ceramic pieces. That’s not the remarkable event though. What’s remarkable is I really didn’t care. “Eh” , was all I could muster in response.

Then I realized that this apathetic attitude towards loss has become habit in my life. For instance, my purse was recently ripped into by my best friend’s dog. An expensive purse that I enjoy greatly. Once again, “Eh.” Patched that baby up and continued on. My favorite mug broke, a pair of earrings I adore, a humming bird figurine my great grandmother gave me, my car battery, a pair of purple boots….the list is endless. And until I sat down now to write I hadn’t realized how much destruction this small apartment  has held in the past month or so. “Eh,” is an attitude of non-attachment that I’ve been working to cultivate in my daily experiences. Not only with physical items but relationships and circumstances as well. A year ago, I would have been needlessly devastated over the “loss” of each of these items.  Silly really. But that’s where I was a year ago in relation to possessions, people and perspective. I am happy to say I’ve come a long way while still continuing on.

Here’s some of what I’ve learned along the journey:

-Nothing lasts forever.

-The only constant is change.

-All that you have is your soul.

-Each moment is of equal importance.

-This too shall pass.

A collection of mantras I repeat in moments of severe attachment when my clingy nature rears its ugly head. Instead of focusing negative energy on that which I am dissatisfied in I am developing a habit of sending out positive signals to the universe.  Repeating these statements of truth center my being harmonizing my reality. This former hoarder is no longer captive to belongings nor relationships nor circumstances. Life flows freely through my body and soul. The more I empty myself the more I can receive and the more I can give.

So how about you? What’s your perspective on attachment vs. non-attachment? Any struggles? Triumphs? Some where in between? Leave your comments below!

– Rachel


Comments on: "Developing Habits of Non-Attachment" (3)

  1. I am really trying to cultivate feelings of non-attachment but for some reason, I end up latching onto everything. I’m not sure why. Even situations I should normally be able to move beyond in a relatively short amount of time, I continue stewing on.
    Unusual, very. I need to work on becoming a little more fluid in accepting the changes,

  2. @Alyssa. Stop trying. Trying not to be mad or attached or whatever only attracts it to you. In Buddhism there is no first or ultimate cause for anything that occurs. Instead, all things are dependent on innumerable causes and conditions that are themselves dependent on innumerable causes and conditions.

  3. While it is good to not freak out every time something happens that you don’t want, becoming progressively more detached from loss is actually very unhealthy. Each of those things you lost are only material possessions, but they were each things that held enough value to you to be worth possessing in the first place at one point or another. Not caring about loss, even in everyday ways, shows that you are becoming hardened by the world (or at least your view of the world) in a way that only leads to ultimate desperation and hopelessness. I promise that the more you try not to care (because inside you really do, even if it’s a little bit) the more hopeless and alone you will feel. You mentioned the loss of relationships and people as well, and I would ask, “What good does it to do anyone but you (and only in the fleeting moment of not feeling the initial sting of loss) to not care about losing things so beautiful as relationships with others? What if everyone in the world cared about you as little as you claim to care about broken keepsake or lost relationships? You may not be to that point of non-attachment yet, but take note of these thoughts before you do. I for one would desire better for anyone in this place. 🙂

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