Even when no one is listening…

images{Life’s Biggest Disappointment} The biggest disappointment in life is the moment you realize that love is not enough. Being in love and being loved in return does not guarantee that you’ll end up with an ‘Happily Ever After’. Love is a fickle beast; demanding heartache and devastation. Good intentions are rarely good enough. Falling in love a dangerous venture for love has no safety net.

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{The Truth About “True Love”} I used to be one of those ‘True Love’ fanatics that believed ‘True Love’ – the purest of all loves- could overcome any obstacle. That loving someone meant overlooking all their faults and grievances. That “True Love” was encompassed in one person who would complete your existence entirely.   

Then I fell in love.

And realities started popping up left and right.

Like what if the person you love….

  • Has a different set of goals in life?
  • Constantly hurts you unintentionally?
  • Annoys the hell out of you?
  • Has really bad morning breath?
  • Takes you for granted?
  • Loathes your taste in music?
  • Makes you want to shoot yourself in the face after an hour in their presence?
  • Repulses you?
  • Doesn’t believe you love them?
  • Cheats on you?
  • Doesn’t think they deserve to be with you?

These are all important issues to consider rather than sweep under the rug. The starry eyed romanticized optimistic fairy tale once in a lifetime “True Love” doesn’t exist. So stop looking for it. You won’t find it.

What you will find is the sort of love that fills you up then leaves you dry. The sort of love that gives you wings then laughs as you fall on your ass from the sky. Love that demands heartache. Love that makes a mess of things. A love that can’t look the other way countless times without hurting everyone involved.

Now, I am not saying loving someone doesn’t include an element of forgiveness. Rather I’m saying love has to face reality. Love itself is not enough. And loving yourself is required when loving others. Love must be willing to get angry and express disappointment. Love has to be honest, transparent, and blunt. Love cannot sugar coat. Love must demand attention when dealing with outside circumstances and factors. Love reciprocated doesn’t secure a happy ending.

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{500 Days of Summer} 500 Days of Summer is a film that changed my outlook on love entirely.

If you haven’t seen it please find a copy tonight and watch it. Hit up Netflix, Amazon Instant Video, Family Video or Red Box.  Or if you live in my area hit me up to borrow my copy (Caution if you don’t return it I shall hunt you down).  

From the opening scene the narrator makes it painstakingly clear that this is a love story that ends in heartache. Throughout the film we watch as two quirky co-workers, Thomas and Summer, fall in love. The progression of the story is spread across 500 Days documenting the highs and lows of Summer and Tom’s relationship; in scenes that jump back and forth across the 500 Day timeline.

As viewers, we experience the darkest moments of their love: intense disappointment, misunderstandings, disagreements, acceptance of cruel circumstances and hateful words. Along with the beautiful moments of: intimacy, laughter, shared joy, forgiveness and delight.

Love is presented in all it’s raw moments of tragic splendor. Needless to say, Tom and Summer do not end up together. All the hoping in the world doesn’t change the outcome so clearly stated in the beginning of the film. In the end, you feel the intensity of their fate. Teary eyed and perhaps a little angry you eventually accept the fact that “Some people are meant to fall in love with each other but not be together.” 

And that realization, hopefully, sticks with you for the rest of your life.

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