Even when no one is listening…

Balance & Surrender

Late Night Journal Scribbling

Late Night Journal Scribbling

There’s a lot on my mind this morning. Not many things, just a big something that keeps reoccurring in my life as of late. A lesson. A rather heartbreaking one but isn’t that how it always goes ūüėČ Last night, a chapter of my life ended gently sweeping me into a new phase. Once again the bittersweet beautiful tragedy of living claims another willing victim. And I’m okay. I’ve dealt with this before and I will deal with this again and again and again. Such is life. It is what it is.

“Better to accept reality than to be traumatized by it.”

Balance & Surrender

As part of my seven week study on the chakras I am reading “Chakras for Beginners” by David Pond.¬†¬†This week’s reading included the introduction and Chapter #1 dealing with the red root chakra, The format of the book starts at the bottom building a foundation of understanding as the energies build in intensity ¬†moving upward through the Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye & Crown. Pond’s writing takes on a balance view of rational understanding, emotional awareness and organized study. All of which I greatly appreciate having been thrust into extremes of overly dedicated faith without questioning and it’s polar opposite of scientific argumentation and facts only mentality. I’ve experienced both now. Been left dissatisfied with both. ¬†So now I’m seeking a well balanced unbiased perspective. Guess sometimes we don’t know what’s best or what we need until we fully explore all options.

Balance

Having spent most of my life as a fairly unbalanced person has left me with constant areas of growth. Physically, I had to learn healthy habits when it came to food, exercise and leisure. Emotionally, I had to develop positive outlets for expression. Spiritually, I started over; with a hunger for the truth at any cost.¬†¬†It hasn’t been easy.¬†¬†In the past three years: I’ve shed a lot of tears both of happiness and joy. ¬†I’ve taken a lot of detours and I’ve stayed on the path. I’ve been distracted and I’ve been focused. I’ve hurt and I’ve loved. I’ve lost and I’ve found. I’ve forgotten and I’ve remembered. I’ve fallen and I’ve gotten back up.¬†¬†Three things have attributed greatly to my journey.

Tree Pose – A Yoga Practice Associated with cultivating a personal sense of balance

1. Writing – helps to clarify my thoughts and emotions. Gives me an outlet for clear communication. Provides a foundation on which I can continually build my worldview.¬†¬†2. Relationships – the good, the bad, the ugly. Learning the discretion to tell when a relationship (friendship, lover, acquaintance, family….) is no longer helping me grow as a person. I’ve had to walk away plenty. Or stand my ground as others walked away from me. Each time it hurt even if followed by a wave of relief ūüėČ Each time I’ve gained ground as a person; establishing roots of self.¬†¬†3. Yoga – mmmm yoga. At first I had a love-hate relationship with yoga. Until I realized yoga is MY practice, on MY mat, facing MYSELF. Yoga helps to keep me balanced by helping me connect with ME. Through my practice, I have learned what I am capable of and what I am not capable of….yet ūüôā

“Without balance you become polarized in the area of your life that is out of balance…Balance is the way, conflict is the illusion. You must believe that balance exists somewhere and, if you are sensitive to it, you will align with it…Believe in your center. Trust that is can always be found (pg#9-10).

Surrender

Balance and surrender are intricately connected. One cannot achieve balance. One must let balance occur. In Tree Pose one must maintain balance through micro movements of adjustment. A quick forceful movement will send you toppling to the ground. Such is life. We must learn the art of surrender.¬†Okay, this is something I am working on.¬†I have a strong tendency to force things into being, impatience and making a mess of things in general. Somewhere in life I picked up a control freak attitude, clingy emotions and a problem with uncertainty. ¬†I’m working hard to fix this fault in my character. Embracing my weakness. Admitting it fully. Working towards healing.¬†¬†So ya, I am a little bossy at times (okay a lot), fiercely independent to the point of closing myself off from others, and over analyze like there is no tomorrow. ¬†On the flip side, I’m a confident leader, self sufficient and a great problem solver.¬†See where the surrender comes into view?

Liberation and emptying of self

You have to move to an observational non-judgmental point of self. You must surrender to reality before you can change it.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† “Experiencing harmony merely by aligning with the point of balance goes against our training. We’ve learned life is tough – ‘Life’s a bitch and then you die’ – a series of never-ending challenges that will eventually wear you down. If you stay ever vigilant and on your toes, you can stay one step ahead of your eventual downfall, but eventually it is¬†going to ‘get you’. Many of us unconsciously hold these beliefs because they were imprinted upon us without our conscious awareness. These unconsciously held beliefs push us towards our lower chakras- the ‘survival of the fittest’ mentality.¬†¬†¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Understanding your chakras can help break the yoke that ties you to the cultural beliefs you’ve assimilated. If you are often unbalanced in a particular chakra (area) , you are likely attempting to maintain an inherently false image of yourself. False, in that is is not genuine to you, and doesn’t lead you to your center, but to a state of imbalance…..these false images are incorporated into your self-image when you over-respond and adapt to others people’s view of you….this will drive you to maintain certain behavior patterns consistent with your family (and other) role(s)¬†until you do the work of liberating yourself.¬†¬†¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† When you can identify the sources of patterns in your behavior, it is easier to overcome the reactionary behavior and enter into conscious choice of what is in your best interest. Breaking family ties and cultural imprints, whether they were spoken or unspoken, is essential to know your most¬†genuine self.¬†We do not want to assume that all conditioning was inappropriate; some conditioning may have lead to patterns that are perfectly healthy for you. However, it is likely that some of the imprinting was not¬†supportive¬†of your most ¬†natural¬†way of being. It is clear that an overreaction against this early imprinting would also throw you into imbalance, leading to a tendency to react rather than respond, to situations, and therefore, not allowing your conscious choice to enter in¬†(pgs#¬†17-18). “

Maybe Jesus WAS onto something....

Maybe Jesus WAS onto something….

To all my Christian readers out there… I think this is what Jesus was talking about when he said you must daily “pick up your cross and follow me”. It’s an act of daily, moment by moment, surrender to reality. An acknowledgement of weakness and strength. A healthy non-stifling nor over indulgence of¬†emotions. An attitude of honest humility coupled with genuine strength of character and respect of self.

None of that unbalanced self defeating mindless obedience.  Abundant life comes from living in harmony with self and others. Harmony comes from understanding the wisdom of allowance.

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†” Develop the witness point in consciousness to observe yourself in your life. Know that you are meant to live in harmony, and if this is not your experience, find the patterns. Observe yourself and notice the hooks that pull you out of your center. Simply said, you must let go of harmful behaviors that you are holding onto. Essentially, you depersonalize the issues by detaching yourself from them. As the saying goes, to experience harmony, let go of your need to be right¬†(pgs#18-19). “

So that’s what I am doing…….letting go of my need to be right…..my deep rooted desire to have ALL the answers….the constant chase that always leaves me empty, alone and wondering where I went wrong….¬†Will you join me??¬†Rachel – The Slightly Over Dramatic Girly Optimist{Coming Next——–> The Red Root Chakra: The Urge for Survival}¬†What are YOUR thoughts on balance, surrender and the relationship between the two? What sort of¬†environment¬†led to your current cultural conditioning? In what areas are you lacking? In what areas are you overdeveloped? What steps do you take in your personal life towards living abundantly? In what ways does your religious or spiritual upbringing make an impact on your relationship with self or the concepts of balance and surrender?¬†Leave your comments below!!¬†

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