Yes, I’m back! After a two month hiatus (Goodness, has it been THAT long??), I’m back and bustling with life lessons to share. I’ve been a bit – ahem- distracted to say the least 😉 The past couple months have been full of change and growth.
October brought in the Autumn winds of change. I finally took the advice of friends and family by cleaning house in my relationships. I’m learning to treat myself with respect by not letting others use me nor allowing myself to use others. I’m down a few “friends” but my stress has dwindled 110% It’s funny how comfortable we can become in discomfort…how accustomed we grow to dysfunction. Now that I am out of the drama that was consuming my life I finally feel like I can heal completely as a person.
Allow me to share an excerpt from a powerful article I discovered this week:
“In the beginning, when I first realized that I was not born broken and that the way I got messed up was not my fault but was in fact caused by other people, I was really angry that I had to FIX what “they broke”. I had to move forward with my emotional healing anyway. No one was going to do it for me in fact the majority of people in my life didn’t want me to heal. They too liked me weak and sick and compliant. NO one wanted me to realize that I actually had equal value to them or their power over me would be exposed and they would therefore lose it. And when I healed and faced the truth about the ways that I was regarded by them, they did lose their power over me; because I refused to live that way anymore.”
As my pen pal Emmanuel C. Williams explained to me, friends come as either assets or liabilities. The trick is figuring out who is who. Once I started reflecting honestly on my relationships I realized that many of the people in my life liked that I was ‘damaged’ because it made them feel better about themselves or it gave them an excuse to stay where they were in their own personal journey of growth. The more I healed the more my positive growth pointed out areas in which they were lacking thus making them uncomfortable. In a way, I outgrew many people this past year. Pruning my friendships was difficult. At times I felt guilty for not giving certain people third and fourth chances. Then I met someone who completely changed my outlook on life.
His name is Jeffery Wayne Smith. We met at work back in September. Little did I know, for Jeff is was love at first sight. This man saw the brokenness inside me that I was trying to hard to hide. November 1st, we hung out and have been inseparable ever since. Today we are celebrating our first month together 🙂 The first of many more to come.
Jeff saw my hurt and chose to be a part of the healing process. I didn’t even have to ask. Patiently he listens. Patiently he responds by offering arms full of comfort and warmth. Jeff takes the time to understand my triggers. He doesn’t get mad at me when I react emotionally to normal life situations. Instead, he helps me get to the root of the problem so that I can fix it and MOVE ON. I respect this man with all my being and am eternally grateful to have this angel in my life. That’s the difference. He knows he can’t fix it- I have to- but he can help 🙂
I’ve never been happier.
I’ve never been healthier.
I’ve never been more alive.
For the first time in years, I feel safe & secure.
I feel loved and cherished.
I am free to love and cherish.
Life is beautiful when you have someone to share it with!!
~More fun filled loving updates to come~