The worst feeling in the world comes on a sleepless night.
Caught between sobs and silent punches.
Drowning in a sea of memories left behind and never attained.
Festering old wounds.
Lying in a bed.
Next to the man you love- as he snores -dreaming of you.
Unaware that you’re aching to be held.
Brought in close for protection, safety and comfort.
Some things even he can’t fix.
You can’t even blame him nor find fault in his humanity.
He loves you.
He’s proven it to you countless times.
And in the morning when he sees the crusted sodium across your face he’ll ask you why you didn’t wake him.
Until then, it’s three o five in the morning.
Now three o six.
If he doesn’t sleep then he never will.
His own flesh worn.
His own heart healing.
His soul exhausted.
So you let him rest knowing he needs to be left be.
This is a battle you’ve fought before.
Tears are nothing knew to you.
Welcome this old familiar friend like you welcome a distant relative or friend who’s returned with reminders of life elsewhere.
Another time another place.
Welcome the unwelcome.
There you will fins solace in the arms of your truest lover- the arms of your own warm soul.